As automations fail due to S6 strike, productivity surges army wide

S6 Strikes

Fort Gordon – S6 shops across the army went on strike this week due to senior commanders across the force having no concept of how, or what, the staff section actually does. As a result, productivity increased 400% army wide. As one commander stated, “my dad didn’t need i-widgets and compute-a-trons to win the Korean War, so neither do I. We can finally get down to some good ol’ fashioned army training!” Not withstanding the fact that the United States did not win the Korean War, and a peace treaty was never officially declared, the commander’s sentiment seems to be widely shared across the army as senior leaders simply have no idea what Information Technology consists of nor how the S6 supports it. A Captain we spoke to said, “I just stare at my screen in sort of a daze all day until it’s time to go home. Sometimes I make powerpoint slides with no worth or long term value, but that’s about it.” Both sides seem to be relieved to get out of the office, however. A Network Management Technician Warrant Officer (255N) we spoke with simply shrugged and said, “whatever; I’m tired of fixing a network I have no ownership over with the equivalent of duct tape and super glue. My civilian friends make 5 times as much as me, and they actually have the resources to do their job. Maybe now I can go join the rest of my warrant friends and disappear on the golf course for a while.”

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