Washington D.C. – Having previously focused on the idea that a leader was someone who was able to inspire and motivate others to accomplish the goals of an organization, the Army has changed the definition of leadership to simply state, “the act of not being an awful human being to your subordinates.”
“We realized the bar for leadership had been set very low,” stated MAJ Whitsik, Pentagon spokesperson for the Army. “We had leadership who were being praised for simply feeding their soldiers good food in appropriate proportions. When we learned how low the bar had been set, we realized we needed to take a step back and redefine our criteria.”
The Pentagon said they may eventually revert to a more “action oriented” definition of leadership when the majority of Army leaders stop acting like cave trolls and treat their troops with anything resembling dignity and respect.