Commander of Fort Hood Shuts Down Entire Post for Missing Rifle

Fort Hood – The commander of Fort Hood pushed back recently against critics who claimed he and his commanders did not do enough to safeguard the wellbeing of the troops on his installation and that an investigation into the recent disappearance of a soldier was slow to start and poorly managed. LTG White, the commander of III Corps and Fort Hood stated, “we take the wellbeing of all of our property very seriously. A soldier is an expensive piece of equipment, and we would very much have liked to recover that equipment intact and fully functioning. You see, just yesterday I shut down the entire installation because an M-16 rifle was unnacounted for in one of our arms rooms. I had every single soldier, who was present for duty on Fort Hood, combing the installation for that rifle. It turns out it was just a paperwork mistake from a young sergeant in charge of the arms room, but we took it very seriously nonetheless.” When asked why similar efforts were not put towards a search for the soldier who disappeared over two months ago, LTG White exclaimed, “humans often don’t get the same level of attention that a piece of metal and plastic does in the army unless they’re a captain or above, so the level of urgency assigned to her disappearance wasn’t as high. As soon as that celebrity made mention of it on social media and my wife told me about it a month and a half after she disappeared, you bet I got into action and had my chief of staff put together several planning committees to discuss the way forward. That’s how important it was to us.” Our interview was cut short as the general told us he had to tee off or he wouldn’t be able to finish 18 holes before the dinner party, but he assured us Fort Hood is taking every precaution to ensure more property doesnt go missing from the installation.

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