People who wear masks are 300% more likely to hate freedom

Cambridge, MA – Scientists at Harvard University have recently discovered a direct correlation between people who wear masks to prevent the spread of Covid and those who want to live in subjugation to their government masters.

“We discovered that a person who willingly wears a mask on their face is, on average, 300% more likely to hate freedom” stated Dr. Brad Wiley, Professor of Sociology at Harvard. We did a double blind study involving 200 participants, and those who chose to wear a mask without being told were completely fine when we asked them to do simple tasks for the benefit of the study. Those who refused to wear a mask, even after being asked, kept telling us our test was stupid. They would tell us things were better back in the day and kept calling us freedom hating communists.”

Based on their research, the team of scientists were able to predict who would, and wouldn’t, wear a mask with 100% accuracy by applying a few profiling techniques and learning what demographic they come from. Some believe the results of this study will likely be used by the government to weed out dissenters for re-education camps. Of course, this would never happen.

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