Secretary of the Army Announces New Valor Award for Surviving Tour of Duty at Fort Hood

Washington – The Secretary of the Army announced the creation of a new award that would be presented to every soldier at the rank of E4 and below upon the successful completion of a tour of duty at Fort Hood, TX. Secretary Ryan McCarthy stated, “upon the recommendation from the Chief of Staff, we have authorized the award of a new medal to all soldiers in the rank of E4 and below who finish a complete assignment of three years at Fort Hood. The ‘still breathing’ award would automatically be entered into the personnel files of any soldier that meets the qualifications of rank and time served at Fort Hood and is still alive when leaving post. This award is unique in that it can still be awarded to those who are flagged, or deemed unqualified for favorable action, as the only stipulation is not ending up dead while you’re there. We understand that senior leaders on Fort Hood find it difficult to treat their soldiers like human beings by feeding and housing them properly, along with ensuring they’re given adequate protection while living on the installation. We feel this award will give incentive to soldiers to try really hard not to go missing or get murdered while they serve there.” Other branches are currently looking into similar awards with the Marine Corps stating, “we see you, 29 Palms,” and a hurried Navy spokesperson shrugging and saying, “Norfolk, I mean, we get it, but we can’t just shut down our whole navy.”

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